Hope For Our Future

Yesterday I could not blog. Trevor’s cousin Laura was here. Trevor was reformatting my computer. I am still not feeling mentally stable. It is so bad. Hard to deal with. Tomorrow I get to see Dr. Walker about my meds. Today I bowled. I am getting so good. I got another spare. I got a 98 today. It is getting so much better, with bowling. I made some good friends so far. I volunteered at the Gleaner’s today too. I always love it there. Trevor is going to volunteer there this Saturday. I have been scared at night. Afraid of aliens and ghosts. I can’t sleep thinking of them. Gary is doing good. You could hardly hear him on the other line. It is hard to hear that. Way too young. Way too early. He has not started the C0Q10 or creatine studies yet. Free your mind of HD. Mentally and physically battle it back. Fight it. This is our life. Stand up and fight. Be strong. Fight. This is our life it wants. It shall not take us without a fight. Fight for your life back. Fight it back. Fight HD away. Fight for your sprit back. Fight for your hope back. Fight for your future back. Fight for your dreams back.

My real life testing

Today I found a comment on my blog. I got asked about testing. How I did. How you can handle the results. I had my Grandpa, My Mom’s Step father saying he did not want any HD grandchildren. He wanted us tested before we got married. What is sad is two of us who did that. I could not let my Grandpa’s worst fear come true. I was the first to find out I had it. Another thing pushing me. I had two futures that I could have done. Wrestling or dancing or getting an education. I did not want to waste money or time if I put it off. The main thing that will help lesson the fear. Distract yourself. Try not to think about it. That is how the fear is created. Is the knowledge. The knowing. I did break down two days before I got my result. When Mom sent me that dream. Rely on your family. You will need them though the period. I relied on everyone. The night before testing I stayed at my cousins house. She was negative. That morning she took me out for ice cream. She thought something easy like that would be good for me. Don’t think. Don’t give into the fear. The fear will make you even more afraid of the result then necessary. My Dad and my friends were there. There is so much hope. Don’t ever get scared of dying. We have good years ahead of us. Don’t feed the fear. Eat the fear. Take it in and deal with it.

Forgive Yourself

Trevor’s Mom is pulling away again now. She won’t call me. Won’t do anything with me. When she calls it is always for Trevor. She will spend time with him and not me. Everyone is so supportive but her. It hurts me like crazy. I have done nothing wrong to her but have HD. I have not done anything wrong. I have not hurt Trevor. I have never broke his heart. My family knows HD. They don’t judge or cut us off. It is everyone but Alice. I will never forget how she left me in the hospital and tried to get Trevor to leave me. I was in the mental hospital getting my meds changed. I did not know if he still wanted me. My Dad was going to save me with his girlfriend Karen and take me home. Even though all of this is hard. This is our life. This is how it goes. This is the real HD. There will always be people that can’t take it. We have so much to do on our own sometimes. Accept this too. You can’t hate. I do not have any ill will against anyone. Grudges will tear you apart. Forgive. Forgiveness is what is right. Forgive yourself and forgive others for their wrongs. Forgiveness will set you free. Set your soul free.

Special Olympics Rhythmic Gymnastics

I am very confused today. I was running outside, forgot where I was going. I am so glad Jenny raised all of that money. It is good that something good can come from something so sad. The companies that gave money for the Scholarship, both of her parents work for them. My Aunt works for the fire department. My Uncle and Gary work at Allen B. Olsen’s auction mart. I am glad they created a new library too. Our library there needed tons of work. My HD has been good lately. We upped my Epival, a half tab. I did my first day of Rhythmic Gymnastics. It was crazy fun. I loved it. It is a bit ballet, with balls, hoops and ribbon. We learned part of the ribbon routine. I was a bit confused. I am so glad I joined. I love this. It is so much fun. I hope Gary has fun in it too. Love your life. Live with your mind free of HD. Don’t let it interfere with our lives. This is our life. Live your life. Enjoy your life. Get outside and enjoy the fall. Enjoy exercise. Keep yourself healthy as possible. Fight back. Our life is on the line here.

Jenny's Memorial Fund

I made a page that you can get through Jenny's page. My home town started a scholarship and a Jenny Memorial fund.

HD Benefit

Live and Silent Auctions Benifiting Huntington's Disease - Orginazed by one of our own NYA members, Jenny Rogers! Date: Saturday, September 27, 2008 Time: 6:00 PM Place: Jim’s Home 2860 Dewdrop Place Thousand Oaks, CA 91362 Benefiting Huntington’s Disease Society of America’s Research and Patient Programs Silent Auction, Live Auction, Cocktails, Food & Live Music Please RSVP by: Friday, September 19, 2008 To Jim Hill at (818) 489-4102 If you would like to make a donation please send to: Huntington’s Disease Society of America 2860 Gateway Oaks Drive #300 Sacramento, CA 95833 Credit cards accepted– call 916-927-4400 A Special Note To Jim Hill’s Friends and Family