Paranoia

I am slowly changing the layout of my page. I am done all the
changes now. I just thought it was time. I was really paranoid and
scared last night. I took Lucky out for a pee and I thought I heard
voices. Nobody was there. I was so scared I ran inside. Then Trevor
had to take care of that. Last night I thought people were going to
steal Trevor’s car. I did not see it out there. Even thought it was. I had
to distract myself until 3 o clock last night. I left Lucky inside for
the first time when we weren’t there. He trashed this place. Now we
have a crate for him when we leave. We worried since he just came
from the vet he was in a come. We saw blood and thought he hurt
his wound. He is fine thought. Poor Lucky right now. It is no fun to
get neutered. That was the scariest night ever. Once again I felt
Lucky when he was not there. I just believe that we have to remain
strong when fighting HD. I never thought fighting it would be this
hard. It is worth it. I don’t want it to taint my life. Take over every
aspect. Why should we let that happen? We need to live. We must
never give up our hope. We will be victorious in the end. Believe
me. This is the year for breakthroughs. Here is one now.

http://www.marketwire.com/mw/release.do?id=811448

Font Changes

Today I was tinkering aorund every page. I changed the text on
every page. I heard that some people had problems with it. Now that
is fixed. Today Lucky comes back from the vet. He is going to lie low
for a few days until he is healed. I am worring about Gary. He is just
so depressed since finding out. He just does not seem happy at all
right now. Which is understandable.I just wished I could take all of
the HD myself and have everyone healthy. I know that is not
possible. He just has to find the happiness. I know some people
would never find it again. It could be lost forever. I hope that is not
the case. I know he is okay living with my Dad. I have a great Dad. It
has to be so hard for him knowing that 2 out of 3 kids have it now. I
am fine with having it though. I don't ever sit there and think why do
I have this, or I want to be healthy. We are chosen to have a path
and we have to mo ve along it even thought it may sting. I just
believe a 100 percent everything will get better. It has too. The
horible and draining path is the one that leads us to the light in the
end. In the end that path does get bright and lighter. Sometimes it
takes so lond to get there. Be patient. It all works out in time. We
will be happy and healthy.

Hallucinations

Yesterday was the halluicination day of the century. It was mid
afternoon I heard my husbnd and looked for him. He was not there.
It is the second time where I heard him and he is not there. That
night was so much worse than any night ever. I could not ground
myself and went and watched some TV to distact myself. I thought I
heard people breaking in. I had to go check everything out like my
councilor said. I always smell a weird smell. I have been doing it
lately. Smelling things that are not there. Everything is full sensory.
Earlier when I was walking my Lucky I had a feeling that he was not
on my leash. I felt nothing. He was there though. It was a horrible
day.My councilor said that these halluicinations are our worst
fears manifesting. Which I can see. We have to deep down
believe that everything will work out. We will have our cure. This is
our year. Let's take it back this year. It belongs to us. Not
HD.Reclaim it. We deserve it.

Hope

Hope is all we have for tommorow. Hope is the truth of the heart. It is
the truth in knowing. Knowing that everything has to get better. It
has too. There will be a bright future for all of us. Let's make this the
last generation to have HD. The first one with breakthroughs. Real
tangible breakthroughs.We deserve all of that. Many have suffered
and soon no one well.

Busted Computer

My computer is busted. My husband needs to fix it for me. He has
me setup on his labtop. I can still do everything I need too. I won my
25 the award today. It is a done good award. There is a Yorkie like
mine on it. Every award means so much to me. It feels good to be so
honored.I love Lucky so much. He is so sweet. I have not been
unhappy since I got him. My brother Gary is being strong with
this.Lucky is helping me deal with everything. We are all that
strong. We can handle anything. We can do anything too. Anything
is possible. Just believe that we can acompish anything.

Lucky

I got Lucky my Yorkie last and he is adorable. The cutest and
sweetest dog ever. I wanted one when I was healthy enough to
enjoy one. I took him out for a walk this morning. When I did
aerobics he did it with me. It was so cute. I will put up pictures. I did
not know that me and Trevor could love him so quickly in such a
short time. I have won two awards today. I want to thank them for
honoring my site; one is a cool suite award. The other one is an
inspirational site. It is so good to win these awards.