Check out this link

I have my desktop back. So happy. The motherboard and graphics
card were broke. I used Trevor’s laptop for two months now. I have
been so sick with some kind of flu. I have been throwing up since
last night. I was contemplating not blogging. I can’t do that. I have
added so much stuff that I need to tell you. I have been noticing
when I try to eat sometimes for no reason I want to hurl. I think that
is HD. I know that we can have problems with our tummies. Last
night I could not sleep I was so paranoid and scared. I also have
bruises again all over my legs form the falls. I was really irrational.
I was thinking all kinds of crazy stuff. I am glad I am not at the stage
where I freak out and lose control. Sometimes it does happen
though. We have to accept there is nothing I can do but live and
love life with HD. We all should. Acceptance is the first step if
getting over and getting happier with any change. We have to
believe that things will get better and brighter. We will not die of
this disease. We will live. All the generations of HD will lose its
hold. I believe that a hundred percent. We are too good of people to
let die. Trevor last night said he was afraid of losing me. I told him
again I will live. I will be sick of maybe a few years, and then we will
be cured. We will learn a lesson in strength and bravery. That’s
what we are every single day. Most people don’t notice it. I do in
every person that has this affliction. I am a Phenomenal Diva. They
are an offshoot of the Phenomenal Women. They just started up. I
added a hope graphic form them. It is what I have to give to
everyone that comes here. I would love to thank everyone that
comes here. Every new person that comes is shown hope here. How
to move on. I had to start something positive instead of everything
negative with HD. We have it accept it and just live like you are
dying. Every day can be special. I just puked now. This is how
dedicated I am to helping people! I get this up and I will rest.I
added a new llink. It is Organized Wisdom. It is a good HD link site.
It has links to all other diseases too.

Forgiveness and Love

Forgiveness is necessary with HD. We all need to exercise this a
lot. Especially with HD. Every thing we do that is part of HD, forgive
and accept it. It is part of HD. I have been noticing a bit of anger in
myself too. I need to forgive myself. It is good to have a family that
understands us. No matter what I do my family will still love me.
Some times there are people that don’t understand you. It breaks
my heart as a former Nurse who accepts everyone. We need more
love and forgiveness in our world. We need patience especially
when we spill something, like I have been doingfor days now. I have
been getting very anxious too. Still trying the tic tacs like they told
me. You take one every time you have one. It is a placebo effect. If
you are alone and have HD. Love yourself so much it makes up
for everyone else. You are all special. As a Nurse you see that a lot
in Nursing homes. They ditched their family in there. It made me
love them more. That’s how it was with my Mom. She called me her
salvation. Though my brothers and Dad visited her every week
when she was in the home. I will always love my Mom. That will
never go away. At our wedding I put up a picture of her with flowers.
That made my family cry like crazy. They said she would be proud
of me. Since I found I had this I feel her presence. I am sure Gary
can too. She makes me feel we will be cured. This time. We need to
forgive, love, accept, and have patience. With everyone. Especially
yourself.

Gay Rights

Today I won’t be blogging all about HD. Not when it involves basic
humanrights. They have been tossed for a gay boy. I am blogging
about the poor 15 year old gay kid. He was bullied extremely He had
harass someone. They went to school and someone shot that poor
kid. He is getting charged with a hatecrime. He is 14 and will get
charged as an adult. Since Matthew Sheppard’s cruel hate crime.
Which I have that erase hate banner for. I was hoping that this
would never happen again. There was one sweet girl, whenever he
got made fun; she told him it was not his choice. That is me. One
straight girl defending their rights. Everyone rights. We all need
them. I emailed every MP in Canada to help get them marriage
rights. They wanted me to become a Gay Manger of that Equal
Rights Organization. Ask anyone. I always since I was 13 I was
handing out petitions, which I made up to fight Fetal Alcohol
Syndrome. I had gay friends I defend too. I just wish all of the hate
in the world would just disappear. Sadly it won’t. We need to learn
tolernence. For everyone including people that have HD too, and
the poor gay community. For every gay, how we get through this. We
just have hoped that things will get better. It is like having HD,
walking down the street afraid of how people perceive you. That is
what is like to be gay. So afraid to express yourself and be proud.
Be proud of yourself no matter what you have no matter what your
are. We all the same underneath. Brothers and sisters. Same
color and same creed. Accept and learn how love yourself. We
need to get a world of acceptance, kindness, and understanding.
That starts with yourself. HD or gay or sick.We feel the same way
about people reactions o us. I went around and told everyone here
that I have HD and am not an alcoholic. Life would be easier with
out these fears. It is nothing we can change. We have genetic
illnesses. They both are. We just have to hope that things will get
better.They have too. This reminds me of a funny voting incident
with Harper. This was before he was elected Primer . It happened in
Shawnessy Calgary AB. He wanted to cut out stem cell research
funding for 3 years. I was so upset I made a sign that said
are Killing Millions of People ask me why? A lot of people
called me and then came the shirts. These were so funny. It said the
conservatives are killing me. I went to vote and at 10 in the
morning. I had no idea Harper would vote at the sametime as me.
Everyone’s face dropped. No one said anything. It was the funniest
thing ever. If I was healthy I wanted to be a Politian. I have a friend
here that might live out my Dream. A stem cell and gay rights
party.I would love to see Harper’s face then. How fun would that be.
Scotto might too.If he does not have HD either.

Porcupine

I have a bad fever today and an upset stomach. We are hoping it is
not mynew meds that are causing it. I added Lucky to my story
page. I can’t not blog for two days. After this I will lay down. I added
those poems yesterday. It made me feel better. I do though. I am
back to me hopeful self a hundred percent now. Yesterday my Dad
told me to stay positive. I am ready to talk about the fun moments of
going home. We took Lucky with us. He puked all over Trevor in the
vehicle. So funny. My family thought he was Porcupine. They all
think he is a good sweet cute dog. We went ski doing. Trevor drove
for the first time. Gary drove the other. Today he gets his meds. I
took Lucky to the graveyard where my Mom could see him. It was
covered in snow you could not see anything. She led me to it. I
just knew and wiped it off and found her. I know she is proud of my
site. My Dad visits it regularly. My HD comes and goes. It gets bad
and then it is less. The last 2 days you could not tell I was
symptomatic. Instill hope and happiness in your head. Leave it
there. Do not let HD get that out. This belongs to you. We are the
ones that have to fight for normalcy. I know how hard it is and so do
all of you. Don’t give up your dreams and goals too. Make them and
don’t break them. Really live them and live your life the happiest
and fullest. Never ever give up and let HD take over your soul.

More and More updates

I have been still up and down since I found out. Even though I have
known it for 2 years now it still a shock. I had trouble eating this
morning. Now that drowning feeling is back too. It feels like I am
snorting water with pain in their too. I am having trouble dressing
last night too. I don’t know how I honestly do this webpage. I am
very detrimend to give everyone a dose of hope. Working your
mental brain like I am doing can help with Dementia with HD.I
changed half of the graphics and added a horrible fact on my info
page. The reason I went to school to learn graphic and web design
was exactly this, it is something that I can use when I get sick. All of
you should look at options. I wish I had the idea sooner, especially
since and this scares me too, we have the highest suicide rate out
of any illness. If I can help one person have hope and not think of
hurting themselves then I have done my job. This one scares me. 4
people a day are diagnosed with HD. How scary is that. Someone
that has come here on support group said make some writings. It
really worked out the fear. I did I made two of them. Good idea. I am
going to get Trevor to help me put them up and make graphics. I
will make one to show him and he can make another. I am so happy
with my seriquel. I actually have tons of energy. On my zyprexa I
was so sedated. I want to jump around now. Trevor said I am my
old self now. He knew me before I got on that sedating med. We
have to see if it takes away my hallucinations. I have adverse
effects to the Rispidol they had me on last time so we had to be
careful. That put me in the hospital. We will never let this page die,
even if I get to sick to take care of it. Trevor will do it for me. It has
too of important message. I am sadly and it is scary the only dose
of real hope you have everyday. That is why I started this. No hope
for HD until I came. That’s what made me do this. We should never
let HD burden us and take away our hope. We need to let all of the
HD go. We can defeat HD if we try hard enough. I am trying my
hardest right now. We can make HD weak instead of us. Let’s do it
together. Live out your dreams too. Don’t ever let them die with HD.
Don’t let anything die with HD. What gives HD the right to take over
and change us in to a no hope situation. We will always win in the
end. We will get cured in the end. There is hope all over the place if
you just look.

Possible New HD Treatment

There is tons of hope today. Tons of good news. Makes me excited.
We are so close to a cure.
http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Science/2008/02/12/new_compound_might_help_fight_huntingtons/4501/