Hope Builds

After all those awards I was not surprised to find another. I am the
Queenof the Fantasy/ Site Fights. That is the voting box. I joined it.
You fight a new site every week. It was so fun. I never thought I
could become the Queen. If all of this countless awards Trevor says
that I have to set up a million award pages every day. I think he is a
bit off. I have won more awards than any other healthy person in 8
months. This what it means. When I think of that I just get teary
eyed with pride. My mission, my drive for change. Everyone with HD
needed something new. Something hopeful. I actually feel bad that
because of emails, that I did not start it sooner. I never thought that
for years and years you had no hope. I will go really into it a bit of
how hard it is for me to run the first positive HD page. A lot of sites I
tried to link to did not want anything to do with hope. Told me that I
was giving false hope. Also wrote that article after mine that I wrote
my positive article for the HD Advocacy Center. They wrote on how
we will never get cured. They wrote that right after mine. Sent it to
every support group. I won’t tell which respected members of the
HD community did this. Accused me publically of not having HD.
They tried to take away my site of hope. I would not give up ever.
Every HD unhappy life means so much to me. I would go through
any mental torture just to save one life. That says how bad it was.
How much we need it. I love all of my links for taking a chance on a
positive page. That affects me. I had HD too. I know how all of that
leads to suicide in HD. Without hope we have nothing. I still can’t
believe I am it. I feel responsible to change the suicide rate. We
will get cured. That is certain. We will. That is to keeping me going.
I have feeling like I am going downhill. I fell twice yesterday when I
was Trevor’s Aunt’s house. I could not stand still. It was the first
time they really saw the HD, since I have been diagnosed. I used to
have days were I did not get HD symptoms. Now I don’t. I have
trouble bathing, eating, and dressing. When I told my Dad. He told
me to slow down a concentrate on every move. I am slowly
suffering from severe dementia some days. Very confused. You
have to accept these changes. I have. I know that we will get cured.
I know Trevor was worried again. We read the article the VOW. It is
about an HD woman and her Husband sticking with her. He told me
he always would. I will put it up now. It tells all lot about HD
marriages. I keep telling him I am going to live. My Dead Mother
told in a dream that I will be sick, in the hospital. Then she said I
would be cured very soon. You know that is why I believe. That is
why we all should. My Mom in the dream told me too that I had HD, 2
days before I got my results. She told me that, that is why I know we
will get cured. It is truly going to happen. We will have that thing
that we have all been waiting for. The cure of our lifetime. That will
save all of us. I still believe stem cells will cure us first. We can
never lose site of the main picture, there is always hope. It is all
over the place. In the sunshine. In the blue sky. It consumes the
world. Now you can see it like I do.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2008/03/06/ST2008030603276.html